How to Actually Rest Without Feeling Guilty

You finally have a day off. No work, no back-to-back obligations, maybe even a clear calendar for once. You should feel relieved. But instead, you’re lying there wondering if you’re wasting time. Your brain starts spinning: What should I be doing? What if I’m falling behind? Is it lazy to take a break?

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. A lot of the people I work with, especially young adults navigating anxiety, trauma, and the constant pressure to “have it together,” struggle to rest without guilt.

We live in a culture that undervalues rest 

We’re taught early on that our worth is tied to how much we do. Productivity, hustle, and performance are praised. Rest? It’s seen as something you earn, usually after burning out. Even when we want to slow down, our minds don’t always let us. Especially if you’ve grown up in environments where rest wasn’t modeled or allowed, the idea of taking a nap, saying no to a plan, or spending time doing “nothing” can bring up shame or anxiety.

But here’s the truth: rest is productive.

Rest recalibrates your nervous system

We talk a lot about the nervous system in therapy because when it’s overloaded, everything else feels harder. When you’re dealing with anxiety, executive dysfunction, trauma, or even just everyday overwhelm, your body is on high alert more than you realize. Rest isn't a reward. It's a regulation tool.

Rest refuels, resets, and restores you. It helps you think clearly, make decisions, and show up more fully in your relationships and goals. Without it, you’re running on fumes.

So how do you rest without guilt?

Here are some real-world strategies that have helped my clients, and that you can try even if slowing down feels foreign:

1. Start by naming the guilt 

Instead of pushing it away, notice it. Say it:

“Part of me feels bad for not doing anything right now.”

Often, that guilt comes from internalized messages like “rest is laziness” or “I don’t deserve this.” Naming it helps you challenge it.

2. Redefine what rest looks like for you 

Rest isn’t only sleep or vacations. It might be:

• Taking a 20-minute nap without an alarm

• Putting your phone in another room and staring at the ceiling

• Listening to music while lying on the floor

• Canceling plans you don’t have capacity for

• Journaling or doodling without a goal

  
  

You don’t need to earn those moments. You need them because you’re human, especially if your brain runs on high volume all day.

3. Practice giving yourself permission 

Literally. Write it on a sticky note if you need to:

“It’s okay to rest.”“My body is asking me to slow down, and I’m allowed to listen.”

Sometimes I tell my clients to think of their nervous system like a phone battery. You wouldn’t keep using your phone at 1% all day. Why expect that of yourself?

4. Build in small pauses instead of crash-and-burn breaks 

Don’t wait until you're completely drained. Create gentle breaks during the day:

• 5 minutes with your eyes closed between tasks

• Saying “no” to that third obligation in a day

• Logging off 10 minutes early when you feel overstimulated

  
  

These little pauses add up. They also reduce the guilt that builds when rest only happens after burnout.

Want a simple tool to help you get grounded when rest feels out of reach?Download my free DBT-based worksheet on the ACCEPTS skill. It's a helpful way to redirect your focus when anxiety or guilt kicks in. Click here to download the worksheet.

Moving Forward

If you’ve grown up in a culture, family, or environment that pushed nonstop productivity, rest will feel unnatural at first. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. And if you’re someone who deals with anxiety, depression, trauma, or overstimulation, you probably need more rest than you think. Not because you’re weak, but because your system is working overtime just to get through the day.

Rest isn’t quitting. Rest is choosing to stay in the game longer, with more clarity and strength.

So if your body’s asking for a nap, a pause, or a slow morning, this is your permission slip.

You’re allowed.

Not because you earned it, but because being a person with thoughts, feelings, and a nervous system means you deserve care. Even when nothing is crossed off your to-do list.Learning to rest without guilt is a skill, and it takes practice. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes to believe:You don’t have to prove your worth through exhaustion.

If this resonates and you’re craving support around slowing down, setting boundaries, or healing from the pressure to always be “on,” therapy might help.

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About the Author:

Attiya Awadallah, LCAT, ATR-BC, is a licensed psychotherapist and board-certified creative arts therapist based in New York. She specializes in working with young adults navigating anxiety, depression, trauma, and major life transitions, including career uncertainty and burnout. Through her virtual private practice, Lenora: Art Therapy and Counseling, Attiya provides online therapy to clients across New York State, including NYC and Westchester.

To learn more about therapy services or to book a session, visit www.lenoratherapy.com or email Attiya at lenoratherapy@gmail.com.